Fifties Afloat As Fresh Fails To Finish

Illawarra Mercury

Saturday January 9, 1999

with PUNTING PETE

What's that they say about fools and their money?

A certain Mooloolaba yacht skipper on Queensland's Sunshine Coast can add another chapter to the book.

He was unlucky enough to run into my punting pal The Fresh Man who ventured north with Priscilla Pocahontas from Poke Flats over the festive period to recharge his batteries (so to speak) and gird his loins for the autumn racing carnival.

Always one to spot a four-legged boat race at the track, Fresh found (conned?) his way on to the seafaring salties' pride and joy for a highly competitive offshore encounter from Mooloolaba, north around Old Woman Island, and back home.

With Fresh stationed amidships, albeit perilously close to the swinging boom, all went well in the early stages. The good ship Fresh gathered in the wind and began powering past her opponents on the outward leg.

Nobody knows if it was the swinging boom, or perhaps a Fourex-induced leg cramp, but Fresh suddenly shot skywards, causing a wad of 50s to fly from his shorts hip-pocket and straight into the tropical briny.

``Leave them, leave them!" he shouted in a fit of frenzied bravado as the little yellow devils floated out of reach and set sail for Fiji. But no, the skipper was a principled person of priorities.

With a clenched jaw choking back God knows what number of obscenities, he hove to and came about, enabling disbelieving crew members to scoop scores of boxed trifectas back into safe hands.

By this time the good ship Fresh had fallen far behind the fleet and was out of all contention.

But the good old bloke upstairs must have been in a fine festive mood this day because he intervened soon after. As the fleet hit Old Woman Island the wind dropped and all were becalmed, forcing organisers to abandon the race.

They motored home with spinnakers furled, made Fresh shout the bar, and dreamed of Fresh-free sailing after his departure.

Another to venture north over the holiday period was The Whispering Man and his lovely lady Jean. He was stationed just over the border at Coolangatta, where the non-daylight saving Queensland cowboys got the better of him.

My spies tell me he had a hot tip for a race down south and turned up to back it at Twin Towns Services Club, just along the road from his digs but over the border in Tweed Heads, NSW.

He walked into the club TAB, wrote out the bet, and was flabbergasted when told the race had already run and his good thing had bolted in. Then he tweaked - his watch was on Queensland time, an hour behind the rest of the world.

Things did improve though, I'm pleased to report. Returning to God's own country, he had five bets on New Year's Day for five collects.

Today's Forster-Tuncurry holiday specials are: Dasher - Caulfield extra double Renege (R3), Clay Shot (R5); Gastric Jack - Flavour (MR6); Barramundi Baz - Bolong Road (SR8).

© 1999 Illawarra Mercury

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